Death by a Lawn Mower

Today as I was walking toward Nigel (my jeep) after lunch, I looked up to see a strange man in sunglasses and a hat hurling toward me with a lawn mower. At first I thought..."who is this psycho in the red shirt that doesnt know how to control a lawn mower?" I clearly had no idea who he was, until he began talking to me, and even then it took me a few seconds to process it. To set the record straight, my life had never been threatened by a lawn mower before, nor did I realize who I was up against. To my dismay, it was The Blonde Haired Jesus that occupies our campus. Yes that is right folks, TREVOR threatened my life today. Although, I shouldn't be so shocked. I should have saw it coming. But who can see their life flash before their eyes at the hand of Jesus? I certainly couldn't. The question most of you may ask is "How did you not recognize it was Trevor?" Well here is why: He had a hat on, which I rarely am accustomed to; His eyes were covered by his sunglasses; His hair was pulled back and braided, thus not triggering the flowing blonde haired image I have of Trevor; and finally, I don't think I have even run across him since he shaved his beard. All quite good excuses for not recognizing my attacker. So let this day go down in record books: My life has been threatened by the campus Jesus. Thus making me not the only one on this campus that people should be afraid of.